The Obscenity Award in Progressive Journalism

Goes to the acclaimed progressive newspaper, The Guardian, known for its very progressive reporting that has become progressively progressive in the 21st century, as it has progressed itself and as its men have progressed themselves very progressively, most recently by the work of, and at the expense of, Wikileaks (among others), and promises to progressively progress into the rest of this progressive century (such smart guys these! they deserve corporate investment!):

Julian Assange: five escape routes from the Ecuadorean embassy

The (Grand) Jury specially (and progressively) commends the work done by the The Guardian and its men to set the moral standards for the progressive youth for the generations to (progressively) come, which is especially relevant in the light of the largest ever UN summit being currently held in the Rio for the progress of the planet, which His Majesty Barack Obama and his predecessors tried to foster, which the Honourable David Cameroon (is that the name? let me check…) tried to further foster, and which Her Ladyship Angela Merkel tried to not just further, but to enforce, but which Wikileaks (and others like them) tried to stop.

Give them a big clap.

We were thinking of a 21 drone salute, but it is still expensive: not enough are being manufactured. But this situation will change — think of computer chips. There is great hope from the international project called Drones in Your Homes*. Make no mistake. There will be progress.

* Even Venezuela has agreed to participate in it.

And look at this retrogressive stupido:

Jolie donates $100K on World Refugee Day

The jury specially commends the work of the acclaimed news agency Reuters:

Ecuador says WikiLeaks’ Assange seeks asylum

Who can forget the disservice that the Wikileaks did to the Reuters and its reporters? Let the children learn how to pay someone back.

Update: The Guardian keeps it up.

Update2: It has been pointed out by many that it was unfair of us to give sole credit to The Guardian for something that was a team effort.


Drones in Your Homes FAQ

  1. I am a husband of one and father of two. I understand that it may not be taken kindly to use a drone on the children, but I am really fed up with my wife. Is it legal to use a drone on a wife?

    It is conditionally legal. Get in touch to get a quote.
  2. I am a husband of one and a mister of two. I think it is illegal to use a drone against a wife, but can I use it against the wife’s boyfriend?

    It is conditionally legal. Get in touch to get a quote.
  3. My neighbour’s dog disturbs me a lot. Is it legal to use a drone on a neighbour’s dog?

    It is conditionally legal. Get in touch to get a quote.
  4. I often see suspicious men on the streets. Is it legal to use drones on suspicious men?

    It is very much legal, but we still advise you to get in touch.
  5. I am not disturbed by the barking of my neighbour’s dog, but I think the dog is a homo. I have never seen him with a she-dog. Is it legal to use drones against homo dogs?

    It is very much legal, but we still advise you to get in touch.

  6. I heard on the news that some country’s prime minister or something has ordered bombing of innocent civilians because they are trying to overthrow the dictatorial rulers of the country. Can I use a drone against him?

    We have called the anti-terrorist squad on you. Don’t move, they are outside.**
  7. My boyfriend was acting funny and made me angry, so I used a drone on him. Now I am missing him. Can I get him back?

    This facility is temporarily unavailable. Sorry for the inconvenience.

** Update: We have recently been informed that they did not actually go there. They just sent a drone. That took care of it***.

*** From Anil Eklavya: So many people (including the Time magazine) are using my invention (*) illegally. I am going to file a 10 million dollar suit against them.

Author: anileklavya

मैं सांगणिक भाषाविज्ञान (Computational Linguistics) में एक शोधकर्ता हूँ। इसके अलावा मैं पढ़ता हूँ, पढ़ता हूँ, पढ़ता हूँ, और कुछ लिखने की कोशिश भी करता हूँ। हाल ही मैं मैने ज़ेडनेट का हिन्दी संस्करण ( भी शुरू किया है। एक छोटी सी शुरुआत है। उम्मीद करता हूँ और लोग भी इसमें भाग लेंगे और ज़ेडनेट/ज़ेडमैग के सर्वोत्तम लेखों का हिन्दी (जो कि अपने दूसरे रूप उर्दू के साथ करोड़ों लोगों की भाषा है) में अनुवाद किया जा सकेगा।

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