The Mysterious Video

These days I sometimes see old, publicly available films on YouTube. I also sometimes see other videos, mostly about films and politics and sundry other topics.

I see a large variety of videos. I don’t stick to one kind. And I don’t go by channels or in any other organized way, just as in the case of books.

When you open YouTube, it shows you some videos, based on whatever criterion. And, when you have seen one video, it shows you some other suggestions. Everybody knows that, of course, I am just prefacing things. What I have observed for the last few months is that there is one particular video that keeps appearing as the top suggestion. Whatever video I have just seen, whenever I am trying to see one, suddenly this one video is in front of me. Time and again.

There are zillions of videos out there. And, to make a confession, I have seen this one once. I remember it as a silly video, as silly as they come. I don’t even remember what was in it.

Now, I like looking at beautiful female bodies as much as the next person, and, on the other hand, I am as much against objectification of female body as anyone else, but this is really getting on my nerves.


Why the hell would one particular silly video (let me see how many views it has got – wait a second – oh boy! it has only 212 views!), why the hell would it come up as the top suggestion in front of me again and again. I have seen many videos before, including such silly ones. Some I have seen more than once.

And it comes with different headings. This time, as you can see, it comes as the top entry when I search for ‘Accatone full movie’. It has come with this same heading. It comes as the top entry no matter what I am watching or what I am searching for.

Note the fact that there are only 212 views. But these views are only for this particular avatar of the video, i.e., as ‘Accatone full movie’.

There are other weird things that I have observed, but this one, by its sheer frequency and relentlessness, has compelled me to write about it.

One weird thing for example, was that when I started YouTube today, I got a screen saying “Let us get you started”. The screen would not let you proceed. On my small notebook, the button to be pressed was not visible at all. I zoomed out. I zoomed out three times or more. Finally I saw a small ‘Next’ button. Since I just wanted to get past the screen, I pressed the button, and hey! presto! (as they say) I was subscribed to not one, not two, but fifteen channels. Never in my life have I been subscribed to two YouTube channels, let alone fifteen.

And what came with these fifteen channels? All I could see in in the thumbnails were female bodies in, as they say again, in various degrees of undress (is that how they say it?) and various degrees of entanglement.

Now, as I said, I like looking at beautiful female bodies as much as the next person (it is worth repeating). However, in my condition (knowing that I am on the show, among other things), such an eventuality (what happened to my vocabulary?) reminds me of the testimony of that released (innocent) prisoner from the Guantanamo Bay prison, now working as a journalist for Al Jazeera, who detailed the way he was tortured.

Weird things, of course, happen to me offline too. Even more so.

Whenever I go out, like most people here, I take the local train. So the train stations are among the places where these weird things happen. As I had written once before, usually no one sits next to me (on the station benches, that is). When someone does, it has usually turned out be an experience of the nature I am talking about. Namely, weird.

About more than two months ago, while coming back from the office in the evening, there were not many people at the station. Since the train was to come more than ten minutes after I reached the station, I decided to wait in that covered place with chairs or benches where people wait (vocabulary!). When I went inside it, there was no one there. It had two gates. I was sitting on the middle chair. The two gates were on either side of me. All the other chairs were empty as there was no one else there. Then came two women. One was a middle aged one. She came from the left door. The other was young. And she was very good looking and what you would call – well, I chicken out – she had a very attractive figure. She came from the door on the right. Since weird things have happened before, I did not even properly glance at her, let alone ogle. I just had an impression from the side of my eyes. Something that you can’t avoid as long as your eyes are fully open.

What happened? Well, the middle aged woman sat down right next to me on my left, almost touching me. And the young one came and sat right next to me on my right. Almost touching me. But not quite.

As I said, all the chairs were empty. Usually, as long as there are enough empty chairs, people (leaving aside myself) take seats in such a way as to leave one empty between the next person sitting there, if you know what I am talking about. I mean, if there are ten seats and only one person is sitting there and two new persons come, it is very unlikely that they will both sit right next to the person already sitting. And much more unlikely if that person is me.

Perhaps there is a theorem about it in mathematics or computer science. I know that there are about some similar things.

Now the older woman not just sat there. She had a crooked smile on her face. And with that smile, she looked hard (and long, and pointedly) at me. And she looked across me to the other girl. Both were very respectable women from respectable families, so don’t get the wrong idea. It would be fair to say that she was looking at me with mocking, almost sadistic smile. The young one, meanwhile brought out a mobile phone. She stretched her legs. She performed some exaggerated gestures with phone and she made a call. She was talking in French. Not many sentences were exchanged. I could hear and understand the last part which was said a bit more loudly. Loud enough for me to hear and clear enough for me to understand. The person at the other end apparently asked some question.

She replied with two short sentences, which marked the end of the conversation. She said, “Ce mourir. D’accord?”. She said it, again, in a mocking and almost sadistically sweet voice. She said it in an artificially sweet voice, the kind fit for villainy in cinema. Then she hung up the phone and made some more gestures with the phone.

I have experienced variations on this theme on various other occasions and in various other places.

That video reminded me of this too.

I am going to watch it again to see if I can get some clue.


Well, I can’t watch it. Because it is not actually there, although it is everywhere. Could you help me find it so that I can watch it? It seems to be connected to my fate (not in the Gita sense).



Did I say it seems to be connected to my fate? Well, it is uploaded (in all these disappeared avatars that come in front of me) by someone nicknamed EuraButz, whose country is mentioned as India. And this person created this account on 1st May 2012, the day my work contract here started. And if I remember correctly, I had watched it around that time, though I still can’t remember what was in it.

Author: anileklavya

मैं सांगणिक भाषाविज्ञान (Computational Linguistics) में एक शोधकर्ता हूँ। इसके अलावा मैं पढ़ता हूँ, पढ़ता हूँ, पढ़ता हूँ, और कुछ लिखने की कोशिश भी करता हूँ। हाल ही मैं मैने ज़ेडनेट का हिन्दी संस्करण ( भी शुरू किया है। एक छोटी सी शुरुआत है। उम्मीद करता हूँ और लोग भी इसमें भाग लेंगे और ज़ेडनेट/ज़ेडमैग के सर्वोत्तम लेखों का हिन्दी (जो कि अपने दूसरे रूप उर्दू के साथ करोड़ों लोगों की भाषा है) में अनुवाद किया जा सकेगा।

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