Crime and punishment
Are highly correlated
Humanity doesn’t need to live
In the chains of causality
The final frontier for humanity
Causality requires us to understand
The whole continuous bi-directional
Network of effects and their causes
Therefore,
To free humanity from the chains
Of complicated tangled causality
Punishment determines the crime
What was the crime
Based on which
And how much
Was the punishment
Therefore,
In order to reduce crimes, you can
Catch someone: anyone, anywhere
And make sure to punish them well
This can be done: is easily achievable
With near total, complete certainty
Therefore,
If you are someone being punished
You must have committed a crime
Even if you don’t remember it
Even if you think you know
That you haven’t committed it
You surely must have committed it
Why would you be punished
If you hadn’t committed the crime?
It is not logical in a world that has been
Liberated from the clutches of causality
Therefore, for example
All military aged males over there
Wasted in our Double Tap strikes
Are, by definition, *bleep, bleep*