Dystopian Dilemma

Dystopian scenarios, especially distopian fiction, are supposed to serve as cautionary tales. The purpose is to warn about the possible futures, so that we (usually human beings as a species, or as society) can take the necessary precautions to avoid them.

The problem is, that the powers that be usually (whether knowingly or not) end up using these scenarios as instruction manuals for implementing their policies more efficiently.

Should we then avoid coming up with dystopian scenarios at all?

A Casual Theory of Literal Insanity

Abnormal Psychology has never interested me much. I have always been more interested in Normal Psychology, so much so, that at one point I was planning to write a book titled Elements of Normal Psychology. Like a lot else that I planned to do, that didn’t work out.

A recent post on Digg.com, which tells us “what the Internet is thinking”, has, however, inspired me to propose a theory of insanity. Again, I am much less interested in literal (clinical) insanity than metaphorical insanity. The former, I think, is a phenomenon of little relevance to the problems of the world as clinically insane people can do little harm to general public, relatively speaking.

What terrifies me is metaphorical insanity, that is, insanity of (collectives of) normal people, which is infinitely more dangerous than any literal individual insanity.

Since I can’t do the tougher job of providing a theory of metaphorical insanity, I content myself here with providing a theory of literal insanity. A casual one at that.

The Digg.com post was initially titled:

Dog Finally Catches Its Tail, Has An Existential Crisis

Sometime later, it got changed to something along the lines of:

Dog Finally Catches Its Tail, Breaks its Brain

Then it again mysteriously changed back to:

Dog Finally Catches Its Tail, Has An Existential Crisis

Perhaps they realized they had gone too far in their regular Dog Whistle Distraction posting this time.

It is the middle version of the title (that has disappeared now) which inspired me to come up with a theory, with a little help from the movie Wag the Dog.

Here goes:

The dog wags the tail because it is smarter than the tail. If the tail were smarter, it would wag the dog.

The state of world can be explained to a great degree by this Wag the Dog theory, i.e., the tail is smarter than the dog. Therefore, as long as the dog does not realize that the tail is wagging it, it remains (clinically) sane. When, however, the dog finally catches its tail and finds out that it was being wagged by the tail, it goes through an existential crisis. This crisis eventually Breaks its Brain. This is what is called clinical insanity.

Therefore, to retain your health and well-being, it is highly advisable to remain blissfully ignorant of who or what is wagging you, as in the case of tail wagging the dog.

The Like Laws

Law 1: If someone is universally disliked, then there must be something good about that person, because no bad (or evil) person is disliked by everyone.

Law 2: If someone is universally liked, then that person must be the biggest fraud, because no genuine person can be liked by everyone.

These two laws are related to the law that says no one is perfect.

The Best, the Worst and the Dog

Celebrate the worst ones

Encourage the worse ones

Discourage the better ones

Persecute the best ones


Give lollypops and soap operas

To all those in the normal middle


And occasionally you throw them

A slick and crafty Shutter Island

For good effect, or just for the fun


Never mind the giant leaky holes

And shady twisted morbid corners

It still works for the normal middle


Why? Why, of course! Because


It is perfect as a counter-alibi

It is a boot stamping on a human

Face, forever. This boot has the

Legendary Auteur stamp on it


The lineage is from another of

The Auteurs who believed it

Was good to say BOO! from time

To time to the normal middle


Lollypops and soap operas are

All very well. But BOO! will do the

Trick for more ambitious things


This is not the Mockingbird Boo

But the Psycho BOO! you know

The two are completely different

But the two do have a connection


And so the tail will forever happily

Wag the rest of the happy healthy dog



Who wrote this shit?


Why did you write this?


Well, I didn’t write this.

You did that, of course.

मौसम का खान-पान

कहते हैं कि हिन्दुस्तान एक ग़रीब देश है

कि यहाँ के ढेरों लोग यूँ ही भूखे मरते है

इसमें कुछ तो सच है पर कुछ नहीें भी है


गर्मियों में आदमी को खूब भूना जाता है

बरसात में उसे जम के उबाला जाता है

ठंड में उसी की कुल्फ़ी जमाई जाती है


कई बार तीनों मौसम एक ही साथ पड़ जाते हैं

एक ही देश में ही नही, एक ही काल में भी


मौमस का खान-पान है

खान-पान का मौसम है


कौन खाए, किसे खाए, कैसे खाए –

छोटा सा सवाल है, आसान ही है

पर सवाल इतना सरल नहीं भी है


क्योंकि देसी खाए या कि परदेसी खाए

कि विदेसी खाए कि अदेसी ही खा जाए


मालिक खाए कि उसका ग़ुलाम खाए

पक्का राष्ट्रवादी खाए कि गद्दार खाए

विदेशी ग़ुलाम खाए, विदशियों का ग़ुलाम खाए

राष्ट्रवादी ग़ुलाम खाए या कि ऐंटी-नैशनल खाए


आप सिर्फ़ खाना हैं कि आप खाते हैं

या कि आप खाना हैं, जो खाते भी हैं


मौसम का सवाल है, सवाल का मौसम है

मौसम ही जवाब है, जवाब का भी मौसम है


20 के फूल हैं, 19 की माला है

बुरी नज़र वाले, तेरा मुँह काला है