Part of: Zersetzung 21C Journal
Around three years or so ago, I started having sudden attacks of general ill health. Initially I thought it was due to anxiety, which is a problem I have had for a long time. But these attacks are nothing like anything I had experienced before. Still I continued believing it could be due to anxiety attacks or even some other illness. However, there seemed to be pattern to these attacks.
For a time I even thought it could be related contaminated food or water, which may have been true in some cases.
However, there were reasons for me to believe that some of my ill health could be related to radiation. So, for the last two years, I have been measuring various kinds of electromagnetic radiations with radiation meters that are commonly used.
Ionizing radiation is the one that the most harmful, as it can cause chemical changes in the body. Long exposure to high doses can lead to cancer. Radiation therapy is also used as one of the treatments for cancer, due to the same properties.
Even electric fields and magnetic fields are very high in my room, especially near screens (laptops, TV etc.). I thought that was because of faulty devices. However, the same laptop did not have high electric or magnetic field in other places at all.
The high values of these radiations, particularly ionizing radiation seem to be highly co-related with sudden attacks of feeling generally ill and this has had effect on even my ability to work.
Here, I will try to put some readings occasionally. Perhaps someone could help me explain what can be the source of these readings.
It should be noted that I have recorded high readings in various different cities and places, even where there can be no reasonable explanation of some device emitting these nearby, such as on a hill station, the resort (very costly affair for me anyway) being on an almost a kind of low peak near the Himalayas.
I know most of these are not *very* high values for ionizing radiation (although I have recorded above 1000 CPM for ionizing radiation a few times), but it may be that I am more sensitive to radiation. The values of non-ionizing radiation have been really very high sometimes.
Each kind of radiation (EMF, microwave, ionizing) seems to be strongly correlated to different kinds of symptoms. The first one causes general fogginess in the head and body pain and inability to work especially on tasks involving high level cognitive effort. Microwave make the temperature seem too high, higher than that shown in the temperature meter installed in my room. It sometimes can cause specific areas of the body being heated up, and, in rare cases (this I am not sure about), very small wounds that suddenly appear. Ionizing radiation causes general ill health, but particularly the digestive system. It makes it very difficult, almost impossible to eat anything. Ever since it started, my already scanty eating has come down to almost unsustainable levels. It causes the kind of nausea worse than I ever experienced till around three years ago.
Even though ionizing radiation levels (so far) are not very high, the point is, there is no reason for all these radiations and fields to be so high either in my room or nearby me. For example, my electronic devices don’t give out high readings (except E and M fields, that also only in my room) on their own. I have tried to rule out as many explanations as I could. This is why I waited for so long before deciding to keep logs.
I should clearly state that I don’t think these are due to some radioactive material, because that doen’t make sense, at least so far.
The first of these attacks occurred on the day I had started reading The Handmaid’s Tale on my iPad. Just as I got the part where there is a mention of routine terrorist attacks, which are blamed of Islamists, I got a phone call. There was no one at the other end. There was a sound though. Like that of a mouse or mice. When I hastily disconnected the call, I noticed that the number was a Pakistan number. This is not something that makes someone in India happy or curious these days (except for the Top Elite, including progressive Elite, who easily move between the two countries). I have, of course, never been to Pakistan and don’t know anyone in Pakistan, except one or two academicians, one I met in another country and one I haven’t met at all.
Well, at least, it seemed to be a Pakistani number (country prefix 92). Since then, several of my relatives have been receiving ‘calls from Pakistan’. It should be noted that SIM cloning is very common in India.
The next day, in the college, the ring tones of some of the students were set on: mice sounds, just like the one that was on the phone ‘call from Pakistan’.
Actually, I did not start with radiation meters first. I was given a contract to write a book and I thought using voice memos on a proper voice recorder, not connected to the net, might be a good idea. Now, the gadget freak that I am, I bought four different voice recorders from different companies with different features. When I had received all four of them, one late night I decided to test them. As it was late night and I live in a relatively quiet place (in that part of India), there was no ambient nose. And I did not say anything, I just recorded for a time. That’s right, I just ‘recorded silence’, which is simply to check if the recorder is working fine or not and not picking up noise too much.
When I played back, all four recorders had multiple acoustic pulses in them. Not exactly periodic, but at varying interval. These were quite loud (as it was late night) and they were kind of sharp and irritating. I hadn’t heard a thing while recording. My hearing has suffered, but not as much as that. The reason could be that these recorders have frequency range a little larger that the human hearing range. Not only did all four recorders had these pulses, even two mobile phones I tried had them.
The very next day, these recordings from three of the recorders mysteriously got deleted, even though they are not connected to the Internet. The recordings on the two phones were gone too. The devices were in my room and I had not touched them again. I had been out of the room for some time. I could given you more details, but that would identify the person involved with this and I don’t want anyone harmed.
Probably unrelated to radiation (may be not), the first time I had the very strange feelings of sudden illness (nausea, fatigue, body paid, palpitation, and yes, ‘cognitive fog’) was in France, where I was doing my post-doc. At the same time, there were a lot of other very strange things going on with me there. Some of which I have written about on this blog previously.
Those kinds of things were happening even before I went to France (a few also mentioned on this blog previously) and kept happening after I came back. Now they have reached truly unbelievable levels. I am talking about things other than radiation and acoustic events.
I also lost about a half of my hearing during just the initial days of my stay in France. Or it could be that I lost it just before I went to France and noticed it only there. At that time, I had no voice recorders or radiation or E/M field meters. I didn’t even think about them. It is only now that I realize that there might be a possible connection.
And my hearing is going down and down. I suspect radiation or some acoustic events have something to do with it.
You may notice a strange thing for the time value on the Geiger Counter. It was correct, earlier, I didn’t change it. It didn’t get switched off in the meanwhile. It was in a locked house.
8th June 2020
For months, I am more or less continuously being given electrostatic shocks reaching sometimes above 2000V/m.
It may be noted that plans have been proposed to disinfect passengers or groups of people by using electrostatic spray, so this is not some unknown thing.
I prepared some food (my only meal) more than an hour ago. I am still not in a condition to eat it. This happens frequently, and then I am told I should eat food regularly.
What seems to have made it worse today, is that I am reading a book related to something that I want to write, which might upset a whole lot of people, but it’s something important for me and important in general, if successful. It seems I am being prevented from writing it.
The shocks come from either the flat above mine, or the ground floor below my flat, or both.
This is quite apart from the radiation and other things, which also I have not been able to post for all this time due to the same reasons.
There is something new too. I have, especially in the night when I am sleeping, sometimes extremely high readings of TVOCs (transient volatile organic compounds). On the CCTV camera I am, at night, when the infrared camera is on and lights switched of, I can often see some gas like thing coming into my apartment from somewhere outside. Ever since those extremely high readings started, my health (hopefully temporarily) deteriorated to the extent that I had to see medical attention.
There also seems to be some pulses of powerful sonic radiation (infrasound or ultrasound).
To add to all this, all my phone (three of them), different brands, different networks have started behaving oddly. When I make a call or receive a call, the person at the other end is barely audible, as if the phone volume is low, but it is not. It is at full volume. If I use a headset, the sound is normal. The phenomenon is consistent across all three phones and ever since it started, which was about a week ago.
As I have mentioned earlier, my hearing has gone down, but not this much. In any case, as I said, with a Bluetooth headset held to the ear in the same way as phone, the sound is normal. If I ask someone, they blame it on my hearing, which, in this case is obviously wrong.
There is a lot more detail, but this is all I can write for now.
9th February 2020 Morning (Varanasi)
I have been buying protective sheets for radiation. After I setup one supposed to be quite good yesterday, the microwave radiation stopped almost (at least the high readings stopped on my meter), but there was still something causing extreme levels of discomfort and even pain, I checked the EMF meter. Now the magnetic field (and sometimes electric field) reading was exceptionally high. So much so that I had to stop using the laptop for a while. I tried removing the power cord, moving to some other spot etc., but nothing seemed to stop it. Then I noticed that the laptop battery was suddenly discharged in the 10 or so minutes that I had been checking readings.
Today when I woke up, the reading were almost zero, but as soon as I opened the blog to update the recent radiation readings, the very high magnetic field reading appeared again, making me stop using the laptop for a while again. I have somehow managed to upload these, but the same discomfort and pain has returned now. I have not taken more reading today so far, because as soon as I do, the readings go up.
And then with the cable removed:
It might be mentioned that I am using Qubes OS and I have not attached the Wifi controller with sys-net/sys-usb, so there is no Wifi being used on the laptop. For a little less than a year now, I am not using Wifi at all anywhere, whether at home or office or elsewhere, except under compulsion, such as when I can’t avoid backing up iPhone or iPad, because Apple insists on Wifi for any OS update or backup. But for the last few days, I haven’t taken iPhone or iPad backup. There is no Wifi on in my house, although office, of course, has Wifi, which I now don’t use.
8th February 2020 (Varanasi)
6th February 2020 (Varanasi)
4th February 2020 (Varanasi)
1st and 2nd February 2020 (Varanasi)
27th and 28th January 2020 (Varanasi)
26th January 2020 (Varanasi)
25th January 2020 (Varanasi)
1st to 2nd January 2020, Temperature (Jaipur)
The slides below includes some images from 31st December also, which are already there in the earlier slides. At that time, the watch was not calibrated for temperature. Now it is. I also bought a table watch with temperature readings, which are commonly used in India. The same thing is happening for the last two days. In fact, now I am waking up twice due to feeling warm. In fact, this has been the case for the last more than an year, or perhaps longer. On 30th December, it was particularly bad. Whatever is the cause, most probably radiation, seems to be so well directed and controlled that it causes pain in specific parts of the body, such as knees. As soon as I turn back, or cover the knees with a large Faraday bag, the pain very quickly goes away. There is much more to this part, which I will leave for some other time.
In these particular slides, it is notable that the temperature of the newly bought table watch starts varying very fast as soon as I pick it up. If I also check the microwave meters, sometimes there is a high reading, sometimes not, so there seem to be pulses. There are two microwave meters, one of them only measures in mW/cm2 (where 0L means there is so much radiation that it is higher than the highest limit that it is designed to measure), while the other I have setup to measure in mW/m2. The reasoning is that the first one will pick up directed radiation beams/lasers better, while the other one will pick up the diffused radiation.
I understand that temperature readings as taken from these meters are not perfect ways to measure the effect of radiation in making me feel warm. If they are directed beams or lasers, then they can only show up on the mW/cm2 meter. That too only if it is microwave radiation.
The apps give different readings. Some give the location temperature, they don’t measure anything. Others try to measure ambient temperature. One of them tries to measure body temperature through the fingerprint reader. I believe that the Airwave Things gives the most accurate reading of temperature in terms of actual ambient temperature in the room, without the radiation. However, if I pick it up it might also give varying readings. That is something to be checked.
This kind of radiation makes ones whole body feel kind of clogged, including hands, which are in this season of winter are already a bit numb (there is no heating here).
An year or more ago, when I woke up and tried making tea, I dropped and broke two mugs within a span of few days. That had never happened before. I dropped them because the hands were kind of clogged or numb, but no so much as would make me aware of that being the case. Since then, I have been using a cup that probably won’t break if I dropped it, since it is not made of china. To this part also there is a lot more, which has made my life difficult.
31st December, 2019: Temperature (Jaipur)
The same thing happened again. I woke up even earlier this time. I checked the temperature on the watch and on the Airthings Wave. On the former, it is 31 to 34 degrees Celsius and it keeps changing, and on the latter (which measures the ambient temperature, among other things), it is 16 degrees Celsius.
30th December, 2019: Temperature (Jaipur)
This is a very late update. In the mean time, radiation has not only remained, more or less (more in some ways), other (measurable) things have also started causing trouble. More about them later.
It is one of the coldest days of the year as a cold wave is sweeping over the north of the country. When I go to sleep, it was very cold, as it should be. In early morning, I woke up feeling very warm, as warm as in a summer night. I tried to check the temperature reading in the various ways I could at that time. Later in the day I also checked again and took microwave readings. I had tried to check the reading on the meter that I had brought with me, but it also seemed to be already damaged somehow. Yesterday I had ordered a watch with temperature reading, which I received today. The time was not yet set properly. Here is the result:
The second one is just to indicate that it is not always a high reading.
7th November, 2019
On the night of 6th November, 2019, I had written a note about the mysterious death of some in the media several years ago and the degradation of the associated publication. On the next morning, as I was getting ready for going to the office, there was an alarm kind of sound. Initially I though there was a power outage and the AC had restarted. But the sound continued. After some looking around I realized it was coming from the Mazur PRM-9000, which is supposed to be the among the best Geiger counters available to general public and cost me heavily (it even comes with a certificate of accuracy). During an year or so of my having bought it, there never was such a reading on it. The other, cheaper Geiger counter does show somewhat high reading sometimes, which seems to correlate very well with my feelings of discomfort. This time, the readings on the Mazur were off the charts for me. They just wouldn’t stopped. Since there was little I could do, I ignored it and got ready and went to the office. The alarm had stopped meanwhile while I was in the house and the reading had went back to normal.
After I reached the office (I bring the Geiger counter to office just to make sure that there nothing special about my house), there was still no alarm and the reading was normal. Then suddenly, after about half an hour, it started again. This time it even went higher. I took the counter to my lab and showed it to my PhD students. Of course, there was not much they could say. One remark however was that it was just scaring me (dara rahaa hai), implicitly meaning no harm meant, which kind of made some screwed up sense. It continued with the alarm and the high readings, going still higher and then as one point it just stopped and went back to normal again. That has never happened again so far (30th December, 2019).
In the office (lab), it went even higher than the highest reading in the slideshow below. At one point I just stopped taking pictures.
Strangely, even with such high reading, there was no discomfort, like I get when the other one crosses even 50 CPM.
The Mazur Geiger counter was bought online from the US and there was even some trouble in delivering it. Documents were asked for and I was asked to give an affidavit that I am buying it for personal use, not for official purposes. That had not happened with the other Geiger counter, which was also bought online from the US.
It could be that, as a Geiger counter, this very costly meter is totally useless, not because it is made so, but because something happened to this particular instrument. This is not the only one. I have had so many gadgets and instruments suddenly becoming useless or even physically damaged. With so much radiation, which often seems to be very directed, it is not surprising perhaps, that at least four phones and one wireless router (which had a battery) got physically damaged, causing me not only loss of data, but loss of money.
However, why would it suddenly show high and higher readings twice, but on the same day? Even though it sounds fantastic, it is as if someone is remotely controlling it to cause, yes, scare. Otherwise, if the readings are valid, then there is a different reason to be scared of.
17th to 20th August, 2019